Friday, September 07, 2007

So You Want to Join Rutgers Cycling

We had our first team meeting on Wednesday. Approximately 20% of the Western Hemisphere was in attendance. There were more new riders than returning riders... and our team was already bigger than ever.

Will, attempting to photograph the meeting, failed. He later said, "I’ll need to get a fish eye lens if the team gets to be this big". Here is his best effort to get everyone in the same shot:
Yes, this is a good thing. The team's size is spiraling out of control, but it's spiraling in the general direction of awesomeness.

Still, I feel that I should inform all of my new teammates that you're in for more than you may realize.

I understand why you joined the team. Who can blame you? There is an undeniable glamor in associating with Rutgers Cycling.
And who doesn't like winning?


As a team member, you'll travel throughout the Eastern Collegiate Cycling Conference, seeing sights that you don't ever get to see in Central Jersey.

Most importantly, you'll be part of a well-oiled machine, a veritable juggernaut of teamwork and go-fast-itude.
However, I simply must warn you that beneath this sexy scarlet spandex surface lies a murky history of hard-work and suffering and also more spandex.

First of all, I hope you like mud. I don't mean "oops, I got some road grime on my white shoe-covers" mud. I mean mud.

You'll find that 90% of going fast is training (the other 10% is coordinating your jersey, shorts, handlebar tape, and cable caps). And training means staring at your friends' derrières for hours at a time. For example, Jenks' booty.However, recovery is the most important part of training and racing. The best way to recover is to sleep. Sleep whenever you can. Sleep, but know that you're running the risk of amusing your teammates, and therefore the entire blogosphere.
Once you're old enough, you'll be able to participate in our weekly Karaoke excursions. I just hope you'll have enough style to keep up.
In fact, style will be an important part of your life as a Rutgers Cyclist.
You'll need style in your post-race street-clothes...
...almost as much as you'll need to be stylish in your uniform.


Welcome to the team.

2 comments:

Felix D. Arauz said...

very funny!

CaptainChaz said...

Keep the train rollin' into '07-'08!

You have to love the photo of Don's tires in the mud at Craigmeur. And the seemingly posed (yet actually unposed) picture from Nittany Lion Cross.

Looking forward to another great year,

Charlie